got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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