i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Just pee around me
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize