Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
time to smoke my breakfast
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
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