Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
