He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
