Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
