Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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