yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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