It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
