just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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