Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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