I heard we made out
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
