He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Randomize
