this boner is exhausting
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
