This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize