you guys were way drunker than both of me
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
