I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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