If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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