don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
