I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize