he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
false alarm, still single
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
