i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Randomize
