so explain again why im purple
no
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Randomize