singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
