he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Randomize
