We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
