DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
