Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize