Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
