the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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