I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
