positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You may now shotgun with the bride
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize