and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
He passed out mid-signature
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
