woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
