so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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