my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
