problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize