You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
