Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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