their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
how drunk are you?
Several
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
