Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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