white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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