Where is the hickey?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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