I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
