kristin has been a bad kristin
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize