since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Randomize
