Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
the condom got lost in my hair
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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