why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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