Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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