Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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