Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
