google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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