Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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