i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize