yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I wear drunk well.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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