Duck Duck Cougar?
i would punch a child for taco bell
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
