Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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