the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Randomize
