In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I am spending my child support on dildos
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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