hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
