the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
