matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
