What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize