maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
he fucked my hip out of place.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
