I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
