my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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