Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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