i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Holy sore nipples Batman
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
