it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize