I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
